I have been debating writing this post, but it is on my heart. I know I am not alone in this and it needs to be shared.
There are people who come into your life for your season. Yes, you may have super close friends and family members, but then there are people who come into your life for just the season that you are in.
When I first moved up to New England, I had a culture shock. There were people who were part of super tight nit circles that didn’t let anyone else new into their group to just plain unfriendly people (I can’t tell you how many times I was pushed aside when putting my kids into a cart). Then I met the most friendly and warm people who would drop anything and everything to help.
I knew after we moved here I had to join MOPS. My kids were young and I needed a tribe. If you read some of my other blog posts here, you will see I was heavily involved in MOPS from being a member, being a part of the Leadership Team, then becoming a Co-Leader, and finally becoming a MOPS Community Coach and attending MOMCon. I was involved at the church we were attending and my girls and I had community.
As we move into a new season sometimes it is a steady thing that you can see and feel that God has other plans for you. Or other times it feels like an abrupt change, a door slamming in your face, while the next door is open and God is pushing you into it. The second one is what happened to me.
March 2020, Covid changed all our lives and by May 2020 for me I started a new business that I dove right into. Little did I know that this fun side hustle would grow into something I never dreamed of while supporting my family.
Churches shutdown, stores remained open with long lines of social distancing, and life was changed. I began to feel alone, and this is where the enemy does his best work, right? I still did things with the church, but something felt off. It began to feel cliquey, not like how church is supposed to feel. It also didn’t help when I saw things on social media of everyone getting together, while we were left out (I told you the enemy does his best work when we were alone- I felt depressed, sad, alone, and began questioning everything–why did God bring us up here? What was His Plan in all of this? I remember calling my mom several times throughout this time just bawling my eyes out and feeling like I was nothing! I thought these people cared about me and my family, I spent years getting to know them and sharing my story with them. ).
When things started to go back more in person again, I was told they wanted to divide the kids according to who they hung out with outside of church to “minimize exposure”. I was vocal and let them know I didn’t agree with it. It felt like something out of Mean Girls. I knew then and there, that God was telling me it’s time to move on.
God brought us to church we had attended for a short time right after we moved up here. My kids and I felt welcomed instantly, even with all the COVID guidelines. The pastor and family truly give their all to the church and community. The preaching is honest, real, and relevant. My parents have listened to my pastor and they are just blown away. I have friends who I can text anytime and my girls are happy! They have made wonderful friends.
Now, do I still see the people from my last chapter? Yes, and I have to tell you, it is so so hard to put on a brave face for my kids. But the sad part now is the my oldest now understands everything with her own eyes and this just breaks my heart to pieces. We were at the church that we used to attend for my daughter’s music recital. No one spoke to us which is fine, I had work to do on my phone (yes editing cookie photos for instagram and answering emails). As we were getting ready to leave one of the ladies from the group that sitting was all together said “Great job Isabelle on your music, playing two instruments is hard!” Isabelle said “Thank you”. Just as I was about to say “Isabelle has been….” they all went back to their private conversation and literally turned their backs on my girls and I. We walked out of the church building.
When we got in the car, Isabelle’s jaw just dropped “Mama, they didn’t even let you finish your sentence and they turned their backs on you.”. I said “Yes, Isabelle, I know and it hurts a lot, but it makes me so happy and grateful to be at church that loves on us and we all friends now that we can count on.”
If any of this story is relevant to you now, please know that God has a plan for you and He loves you. There are dark times, and in those moments cling to Him and not social media. Please know that I am praying for you, because I have been there.